Very nervous this last week because the dose dense stuff starts tomorrow. Heavy duty strength so that’s why they do them every other week. 2 different drugs so I have no idea how I will react to them. Just another reminder that God is in control.
Last week was a very emotional and ugly week for me. I was very sad and very angry all at once. But a good friend invited me to tool around on a pontoon Sunday and man was that just what I needed. It was so relaxing and part of the day Adam was at respite so we didn’t have to worry about him. Then Tim took me out for awhile and we talked for like 5 hours. So needed that!
Part of the reason I felt so sad was that I worked so hard last year to lose 50 pounds and due to the steroids and all this cancer crap I have gained 20 lbs in twelve weeks!!! On top of that most women have a hard time getting rid of this after treatments are over! ugh! I feel so bloated and just huge. So I am trying to stay below 25 carbs a day…..this is really really hard to do! Wow. Have to watch every label and look up every veggie for the carb info. But it takes my mind off of the chemo so I guess thats a plus.
So my face is a bit more chubby but look at all that grey hair growing in! Yes the cold capping is working along with the supplements and the essential oils. I think i have about a 1-1/2″ growth going on now. Of course I have no idea how hair will react with new drugs. Hopefully I will not lose any hair as a result. I just can’t wait until October when I can wash my hair more than 2x a week and actually use warm/hot water when I do! This cold water stuff is for the birds!
I feel fairly good but have my bad moments but the side effects have not been as bad as others have had it. Last week after the 12th taxol I had a lot of leg and hip pain. Common side effect called neuropathy but it is not constant so that is a good thing. Trying not to rely on ibuprofen to help with it as I want to keep my liver as healthy as possible during all the other junk they are throwing at me.
Another part of the sadness is that my business in Hortonville is only 2 years old and my time with doterra is at 6 years now and both were just starting to take off more then all of this happened. I am down to working only 2 days a week on both and it is so hard for me to do. Many clients are not available for just a tues or wed but I have until oct to finish the chemo and then depending on surgery will depend on how long I will be out of order for that. I so want to put more time into both but my body is just not cooperating with me and it makes me feel like I have failed in many ways. I know it’s just Satan whispering in my ear but it can get overwhelming sometimes.
Tomorrow the dose dense protocol has the tendency to wipe out your white blood cells and lower all blood counts so they automatically want to give you nuelesta injection after. This drug pushes your bone marrow to produce more blood cells and that in turn can cause excruciating bone pain. I am hoping to talk my dr out of it and waiting to see how the first treatment goes. FUN FACT – this drug costs about $10,000 for each injection. There are 4 doses of chemo left so do the math. Thankfully my insurance will cover this but I just don’t want to do it because of the possible side effects.
Again, thank you all for the prayers and positive vibes. It is keeping me from a deep depression through this and helping me to stay positive. Also…….I went in for another ultrasound for the left tumor (it is more aggressive than the right one so they are watching it closer) and they will compare it to the one I had in June. But the technician was having a hard time finding the tumor and was constantly referring to the last scan to be sure she had the right area. They do mark it with a small titanium clip when they biopsy it so they can have a marker for surgery but because it has shrunk so much it was hard for her to get a definite area. I was really hoping she wouldn’t find anything but I will take this. The radiologist who looked the images over told her “I don’t need to look again, it’s doing what it is supposed to do”. So I take that as it is shrinking. I should have some exact measurements when I go in tomorrow to compare to June so I can’t wait for that.
Right now I am in my office diffusing the Anchor Yoga blend and it is heavenly. Helping to ground me so my thoughts don’t drive me crazy before treatment tomorrow.
We are slowly figuring out how to help Adam best and met with his home team and now will need to schedule an IEP within the next few weeks in order to help him best at school. I can’t believe school starts in 20 days! And in 35 days two of my friends (and business partners) and I leave for Utah for the Global Convention. I can’t wait and pray I am feeling well enough to travel well. It only takes 22 hours to drive there lol. So look for Dash on my facebook page as he will be traveling with us. Al may come along too. I have to see how much room I have. There is some kind of secret and fabulous guest speaker on Saturday afternoon that week and they won’t tell us who it is til that day. Also some new products and oils will be released too. I can’t wait! So watch my Dreams of Jeanne Facebook page and the SpOILer Group if you are a wholesale member for updates and pictures of mountains and Dash’s adventures from Sept. 18-23.
Also I will be at the Waupaca County Fair next week (as much as my body allows) from 22-26th but I will not be there the 22nd as that is move in day for Charley at MKE Art Institute and I will not be there on Sunday the 26th until it is time to pack up and go. So if you see that I am at the fair the other days stop in the new commercial building and say Hi. I would love to see how many of my friends stop in – I’ll be counting. lol