Digestive Enzymes & Hormones…

Nearly Three years ago I developed breast cancer. Suddenly I felt a need to evaluate my overall health. I had been told the year before that I was estrogen dominant and I believe that is what led to my cancer. As I learned more I began to see that the digestive system has a LOT to do with hormone regulation. As well as emotional health, sore joints, overwhelming fatigue and the fact I was overweight and struggled to lose even a pound.

Typically the raw food we ingest provides only enough enzymes to digest that particular food…like fats, carbohydrates and most importantly protein into individual amino acids.

Enzymes needed for digestion are amylase which break down carbohydrates, lipase that breaks down fats, and protease breaks down protein. There is no upper amount limit of these enzymes.

However, there are no extra enzymes in raw food to digest cooked or processed food. The cooking and processing of food destroys all of its enzymes. Since most of the foods we eat are cooked or processed in some way and because the raw foods we do eat contain only enough enzymes to process that particular food, our bodies must produce the majority of the digestive enzymes we require, unless we use supplemental enzymes to aid in the digestive process. (2)

Metabolic enzymes are a loosely defined class of enzymes that regulate metabolic pathways in energy homeostasis, including glucose, lipid and amino acid metabolisms. Metabolic enzymes often serve as drug targets for metabolic diseases such as obesity, insulin resistance, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases. (1)

Our body makes our metabolic enzymes from the complete amino acid food we ingest. Complete amino acids are only found in animal products. It takes a combination of many plant products to make a complete amino source, and these sources are usually processed or heated, destroying the enzymes. There are approximately 1300 different enzymes found in the human cell. (2) We NEED protein for our body to function properly.

So what do you think happens when we don’t have enough digestive enzymes to break down the food we eat?

The body must produce it which can be taxing on the pancreas, stomach and small intestine.

Without enough protein, or the ability to break down the protein we eat into amino acids, you may have guessed that, the body will not have enough amino acids to be able to repair cell damage and regulate body functions such as respiratory, hormone regulation, energy balance, body temperature, & insulin production, just to name a few.

I discovered a few years ago that I was not getting enough digestive enzymes in the food I was eating. Even though I try to eat whole foods I am not always the best at avoiding processed foods. Sadly this was causing many other health issues in my life.

Here are some indicators of low digestive enzymes:

  • Food intolerances
  • Digestive issues – like bloating, indigestion, constipation, diarrhea
  • Poor nutrient absorption
  • Weight gain and obesity
  • Weaker immune system
  • Fatigue
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Skin problems
  • Sore muscles & joints
  • Irregular hormone function

The good news is we can add in digestive enzymes, pre-biotics, and probiotics to help support digestion and nutrient absorbtion.

We can also add in good protein sources to support metabolic functions that help with hormone regulation, respiratory support, energy, emotional support, and more.

Now, I will tell you, I hate “diets”. Many times I would begin healthy habits only to become exhausted and irritable after a few weeks and then ultimately give up. Going back to poor life choices. There’s a reason it happens. Self sabotage is real and you can actually set yourself up for failure just like I did.

But you can change things. I found that Adding In was much easier than Taking Out. There are certain things that I really love to eat and drink and do. But to totally take them out of my life and expect to not miss them was setting me up to fail. So I have begun to add in more protein, more vitamins & minerals, more omega 3 fatty acids, more fiber and more greens. Increasing things my body needed. By doing this I can more easily avoid habits that are not healthy because I no longer miss them so much.

Trust me, if I feel guilt every time I take a bite of milk chocolate I feel more stress, more negative emotions…eventually that emotional attachment convinces me to just give up. That I am not worthy of good health and feeling better so why try? If this sounds familiar I am here to tell you….

YOU ARE WORTH IT! Every. Single. Bit. Of. Success. You can feel better.

You can begin with my Personalized Guide to Natural Remedies with an Eight Week Healthy Start Program that will include:

  • 1 on 1 personalized chats with Jeanne each week. (total of 8)
  • Weekly videos detailing each of the 8 keys to fighting your cancer & improving overall health
  • 3 month supply of nutritional supplements to fight chemo side effects while boosting your immune system, support emotions, hormones, digestive system and sleep. (please check with your medical provider before using any supplements)
  • 3 month supply of Total Nutrition Pack containing *Non-GMO, Gluten & Soy FREE – ALL NATURAL 21g protein mixes naturally sweetened with monk fruit & stevia (Vegan option available), *NATURAL Fiber mix and *Gluten Free, Vegan Greens
  • Starter kit to help you remove toxins from your personal care and your cleaning cabinet
  • Educational classes to download – including Reflexology, Reiki, Essential Oils and more!
  • 25% discount on all nutritional supplements for up to 9 months after the program ends.
  • One FREE autographed paper back copy of Jeanne’s book, Fighting Breast Cancer.

(1) https://www.gbiosciences.com/
(2) https://enzyscience.com/

$50 in FREE Products! Limited Time Offer!

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Comment “I’m In” when you’ve placed your order and collect your FREE products and membership overview!

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When you open a wholesale account with me, with the Healthy Home Starter Kit (shown below) before the end of April you will receive 🛒 $100 in FREE PRODUCTS!!
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WELLNESS WEDNESDAYS – Essential Oil Basics

There are so many essential oils out there. Which ones would be the best to have in your home?
Lavender? Peppermint?
And what do you use them for?

Join me online for Wellness Wednesdays where I will share essential oil basics and easy ways to learn how to use oils in your own home.

Each Wednesday I will be sharing how to incorporate essential oils into your life to support your family’s Wellness.

Wednesday, Apr 15, 2020 06:00 PM Central Time (US and Canada)

Contact me for the pass code.


If you’re applying an essential oil for the first time, perform a sensitivity test to see how your skin reacts. You can do this by applying a small dab of the essential oil, mixed in carrier oil, to an inconspicuous area of your skin. Continue to check the area each hour for a few hours to make sure no irritation has occurred.

Something you should know is if you have sensitive skin or skin conditions (like eczema and psoriasis), you may be more sensitive to topical application. You could also be more sensitive if you have a compromised immune system (for example, food or seasonal allergies and autoimmune disorders). If you have any doubts about how you’ll react to a certain essential oil, it’s always good to perform the sensitivity test and talk to your healthcare provider.

Babies have more sensitive skin than adults. A baby’s epidermis (the outer layer of the skin) is up to five times thinner than an adult’s and is made up of smaller cells. This means a baby’s skin will absorb substances into her bodies more easily and quickly. Essential oils can have many benefits for young children, but you’ll just want to keep their skin sensitivity in mind.

When applying an essential oil topically to a baby’s skin, you’ll want to use less essential oil and more carrier oil than you would normally use on, say, yourself. Here is a helpful guide with the chart below:

How To Dilute Essential Oils, Chart and PDF - Got Oil Supplies

Skin isn’t only more sensitive when we’re young. It becomes more sensitive as we age. When we get older, our epidermis thins. Skin also begins to lose strength and elasticity. Additionally, blood vessels become more fragile, glands in the skin produce less oil, and the layer of fat under the skin begins to thin. As a result, essential oils can more easily penetrate the skin. This is another case where you should apply less essential oil and more carrier oil in order to avoid irritating sensitive skin

General use: 8–20 drops of essential oil per 10 mL bottle, filling the rest with fractionated coconut oil

While those other types of carrier oils are commonly used, fractionated coconut oil is an ideal carrier oil to use with essential oils because it has great shelf life, feels light and silky, provides good absorption, and is odorless

Additionally, fractionated coconut oil is much more shelf stable than regular coconut oil, meaning it can last for years.


The current health situation in the world has probably changed many plans that everyone had set up for March.

I had set some goals for my business for March.
One of those goals was to help a certain number of families to begin learning and enjoying the benefits of essential oils in their home. With the current advisory for social distancing my informative classes I had set up for March & April quickly became either postponed or rescheduled as online classes.

Yes this has made things a bit more difficult, but not impossible, as the essential oils I work with are easy to use and learn about on-line with downloads from our fantastic website.

Here’s my dilemma though, with this difficulty I have fallen behind on my goal of helping families. I have two days to help 3 more families to begin using essential oils in their own home.
This is where I could use some help….

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I will be offering a HUGE promotion for those who have opened a wholesale account with me in March. That’s right! For those of you who have already opened an account this month you will receive the same HUGE promo that the next 3 families have available to them!

ON top of all the extras you normally receive for opening your account with me that are listed on http://www.dreamsofjeanne.com/purchase-pure-essential-oils/ – when you enroll in the next 2 days with any 100pv order you will also receive:
🎁 $100 in FREE essential oils!!

All you need is the promo code.
Email, call or private message me (BEFORE 8 pm Central time March 31st) and I will get you started on your journey to supporting your health & wellness.
FREE education and support available for you to learn at your own pace.

To receive your $100 in FREE essential oils…..
👉 You MUST have the promo code
👉You MUST enroll before March 31st @ 8pm Central time

👉 When you refer someone you know and they open their own wholesale account before March 31st @ 8pm central time YOU will receive a FREE essential oil too!!

Inflammation & Digestive Health….

Inflammation is one of the key processes through which the body fights infection. When tissue becomes inflamed, white blood cells arrive to fight infection. Local inflammation causes redness, swelling, and heat. It can occur with injuries ranging from mild to life-threatening.7

As of one year following my last chemo treatment I am cancer free. When I was first diagnosed back in March of 2018 I was told I had Two Breast Cancer tumors. One tumor I had in my left breast was Triple negative, meaning that it is not influenced by hormones.  The other tumor was estrogen/progesterone positive (+) and her2 negative (-) and is influenced by the hormones of estrogen and progesterone. If you are wondering, no, I do not take hormone blocker medication.

Because Frankincense has been used over the centuries as a powerful anti-inflammatory, I have been using it daily during my chemotherapy treatments and continue to use it daily today on the area that used to house my tumors. 

There are studies listed below that do prove this anti-inflammatory claim.  So don’t just take my word for it – check out the links below.

You can also create your own 10ml roller and make it various strengths to suite your needs.

Image result for doterra frankincense touch

I took the old rollers and calculated a 10% dilution because I am actively fighting a condition that is caused by acute inflammation.  Normally if you are using daily you only need a 2-3% dilution but as I said my immune system is compromised right now so I upped it to 25%.  You can use what you feel is right for you. 

A 10 ml roller like the one shown above holds about 170 drops of oil total.  25% of this would be approx 43 drops.  (170x.25=42.5 drops) Just to make it easy I add 50 drops of frankincense oil to the roller and then fill the rest with a carrier oil. (use your own favorite carrier – Fractionated coconut oil works the best, has the longest shelf life and absorbs nicely.)  I roll this on the areas every morning after a shower and every night before I go to bed.  Yes I try and be religious with this application!!

Image result for doterra fco

And yes I did do this regiment along with my weekly chemo treatments.  My doctors were very supportive of oils through this journey.

Chemo & The Digestive System

Sounds like a love story right?

I am sure you probably assume that it is NO love story, and you are right.  But I have been able to make it a bit better by using some great tips and tricks.

And this can help for anyone who is dealing with constipation or other digestive whoa.

Yes some of the anit-nausea meds they give you when you do chemo are very rough on the digestive tract and can cause severe constipation too.  Here is what you can do:

#1 – drink half your weight in ounces of water.  YES HALF!  If you weigh 200lbs. then you need 100 ounces of water.  Yes you may pee more but it will be worth it.

#2 – During chemo I used a combo of GX assist and Senokot to help things get moving more naturally.  If it’s too much stop the senokot first.  If you are still to loosy goosy then stop the gx assist or lower the dose.

#3 – Use a good probiotic!!  I can not stress this enough.  You must replace good bacteria in the gut that the chemo or other drugs like antibiotics can destroy.  These come with an outer layer that help the probitotics get through the stomach acid to the intestine where they are needed.  There is also a granulated and great tasting probiotic called pb assist jr.

#4 – if your digestive enzymes are low – especially if you take an anti-acid or eat a high processed food diet, you may wish to help your food break down with the Terrazyme capsules.  This can help to avoid bloating and undigested food from getting into your intestines.

#5 – Digestzen, a blend of essential oils, is one of the BEST things I have found and can be used internally or topically to help anything with where the food goes into the body to where it comes out of the body.  I used it internally as it helped me the best if I was bloated or had an upset tummy and the anti-nausea meds just were not helping or if I wanted to avoid a bit of the constipation that comes with the anti-nausea meds.  It tastes like black licorice and I am not a fan of that so I take the gel caps and do not have to taste it.  I still use this on an as needed basis.

#6 – if I am feeling uncomfortably bloated or if there is a tightness in the gallbladder area I will apply some castor oil with a few drops of geranium oil in it to my belly and cover it with a towel and apply a warm compress on top of it.  Helps to soothe the area.  And a warm bath after can feel amazing with some epsom salts too.  You can find castor oil at any local pharmacy and most retail stores.

Do you want personalized help applying the 8 Keys to Natural Healthcare in your own home?

Begin your journey to Wellness HERE.


To our knowledge, this was the first study of the biological activities of FREO in human dermal fibroblasts. FREO was significantly anti-proliferative to these cells. FREO significantly inhibited the production of collagen IIIIP-10, and ICAM-1. Genome-wide gene expression analysis showed that FREO modulated global gene expression. It also robustly affected signaling pathways which are relevant to inflammation and tissue remodeling.4

4. http://www.aromaticscience.com/biological-activities-of-frankincense-essential-oil-in-human-dermal-fibroblasts/

Long Lasting Side Effects

It has been almost 10 months since my last chemo.

I never knew that chemo side effects can last for years. After all chemo drugs wipe out many good cells along with the mutated ones it is targeting.

Picture your body as a huge forest. There are beautiful trees and ferns. Now picture chemo like a huge destructive tornado. The tornado uproots trees, flattens the ferns and rips them apart and much of the vegetation dies. Dont expect the trees to magically reroot and go back to the way they were in a few months or even years. Even the vegetation like the ferns, can take months or years to get back to the way they were before the tornado.

So here I sit. Periodic short bouts of tingling in my hands, hair growing back in, painful surgery scars, knotted muscles in my chest and ribs and a still 1/2 frozen shoulder.

Add that together with the long treatment from last year, the risky decision of refusing radiation & hormone blockers, the fact that the chemo I had could give me another cancer down the road or give me heart damage. Then add in I had to close my office in Hortonville because of said side effects. Add in that I still have days when I am just exhausted and sleep for 12 hours. Then add in waking every 2 hours to shift positions from my shoulder pain every night for 9 months now. Then add in chemo screwing up your hormones and pushing you into permanent menopause – complete with hot flashes, headaches and mood swings all beyond your control. Add in 5 or 6 therapy and counseling appointments every week for months working around your spouses schedule and your special needs child’s schedule. As well as trying to earn some $ to cover what we lost during this whole nasty trip I call cancer and you can see how a person may be a bit stressed out! Things that were once not such a big deal become like a knife to a nerve. It becomes harder and harder to stay calm, be focused on positive things and keep your emotions in check. Especially when there are very few breaks from this lifestyle.

Imagine having a 2 year old in your home for 15 years 24/7. Very seldom finding a sitter to give you a break? Yes I love my son but one can only handle daily meltdowns, repeated cartoon episodes, consistent stimming and constant supervision so he doesnt get into anything he shouldn’t for so long.

Because of this there are no family vacations. Sadly we must be on constant call even when we do have a “sitter” because if anything goes wrong we have a moment’s notice to go pick him up. Do you know that for just 48 hours of respite it costs over $400. Luckily the county helps us or we would never be able to afford much.

So yes, I admit I do get angry. I do yell. I do get upset and sometimes cry over what seems to be something small. Its been a long trip and just because I didnt have it as bad as others doesn’t mean it hasnt been devastating to me in many ways. It has been no cake walk. Had I done all the treatment they wanted me to I am sure I would be worse.

When you know someone who has been through cancer don’t ASSUME that after the treatment is over that life just magically goes back to how it was before the cancer. IT DOESN’T. Not for most people anyway. Not for me.

Try and walk in their shoes. Understand that just because you are emotional that it doesn’t mean you need medication! Try understanding before you even think of suggesting that.

You see, cancer tends to wake up a person. What I mean is that you realize just how much you have ignored your own needs, maybe for decades, and never focused on taking care of you. You let things slide that were so very important to you. You gave up things because you didnt want to be seen as “selfish”. And now, now you realize that there are certain things you just cant live with or without anymore because its what made you sick in the first place. Of course when you begin demanding that things change for the good of all you are suddenly seen as a, pardon my language, a big bad bitch. No one likes this change in you. They liked the status quo. They dont want anything to change again. They want to go back to the days when you were quiet and didn’t ask or beg for anything. When you put them first while you put your needs on the back burner. So when you dont want to “go back” then you are told you must be depressed and you should take medication. Medication that has some severe side effects. But then this will help you be convinced by others that you really dont need change. Because, after all, YOU must be the problem. No one else needs to change. They dont “use you”, its just that its supposed to be YOUR responsibility to take care of everyone else. Then somehow you will feel fulfilled?

Taking care of yourself and not being “used” by others is the key to health. So try to understand that things in life will need to change after cancer. And if someone is unwilling to change then maybe they never really cared to begin with.

I have had to do a lot of changing and much of it was out of my control. But I know I need to work on things and I am trying to do that. And I am understanding that I am the only person I can change. I will do that whether other people like it or not. I am healing in many ways and it may take awhile. I need to do what is best for me – finally. Things are improving, slowly, but they are going in the right direction. And I will leave it with that. Have a great day everyone!

Ending my Trip

Yes for me, I am ending this trip.

The more I meet other cancer survivors and those still going through the treatments, I am more convinced that i made the right decision not to continue treatment.

Today a woman who went through treatment in the fox valley said a doctor in another area said to her “they tend to over radiate in the fox valley”. If doctors know this why does it still continue? Maybe this is why the opinion up here was for more body area as well as for 2 weeks longer than my 2nd opinion. Personally we all deserve better. My advice to anyone of you who would sadly have to go through this trip that you please get a 2nd or 3rd opinion before you make your final decision.

I met 3 people in the last 2 weeks that were misdiagnosed and one man almost lost his life because of it.

So even though both of my opinions recommended radiation I have decided not to do it. One woman today in my group said she is afraid of the hormone medication they have her on because it can cause osteoperosis and she is afraid she will lose her teeth from treatment. You see,, they recommend hormone blockers for hormone positive breast cancer. This is a tumor that is fed by hormones that the body produces. Such as estrogen, progesterone and her2. I can be one of them 2 or all 3. The current way to “treat” this is to give drugs orally that can block these hormones. There are many places that produce estrogen, including fat cells so even if they remove the ovaries or you go through menopause you can still produce hormones to feed cancerous tumors. One of my tumors was estrogen & progesterone positive. So even though there was only 1mm tumor left after chemo and they removed it with clear margins they still want me to take these drugs for at least a decade….or two. There are of course, many side effects that could happen and I don’t feel that blocking hormones that my body needs to stay healthy is the answer to prevent future tumors.

Of course, I realize I could be wrong, but this is my body and it really is my decision.

Sometimes I feel like this was all just a dream and that I never really went through chemo. I guess mainly because I was fortunate to not have many side effects which many people get severely ill from chemo and some so much that they are unable to complete treatment. When others talk about how they were so sick I almost feel guilty that I had it so much better.

Slowly we are trying to put our lives back together. I still have the frozen shoulder to deal with and it causes quite a bit of pain. So that is why I was forced to close my office in Hortonville. That was a really tough thing to have to do. Cancer takes so much from you even if you fight to hang on to it. Although my arm is getting better slowly I am still limited to what I can do yet. I have been working on intermediate fasting and cutting out sugar and processed foods to support my health. I have lost 23 lbs since the beginning of the year and 10 of it was in the last 3 weeks. I don’t think diet can completely prevent cancer but I do believe that it helps your body to keep a stronger immune system. And since fat makes estrogen it would be very beneficial to get rid of as much of it as I can.

Counseling is my main focus with my physical therapy right now. Cancer does a number on your emotional health and so does negative emotions from the past. So I am working on that too. Had my first base thermography done this week. This registers warmth in the body as tumors have blood vessels and show heat with blood flow. Each scan in compared to the one before to look for changes. You can do full body scans but I did breast scan only for now. It was $150 that insurance does not cover. But there is no radiation and that makes me feel safer. Plus I believe they are more accurate than a radioactive scan that is wrong 22% of the time.

I have some oil classes and events coming up so I can still enjoy sharing oils with others. I am still unpacking all of my office so it is hard to find things I need. It’s hard to put it all away without feeling defeated. So much work to do but I am still fighting fatigue that just seems to come out of the blue sometimes. So I take it one day at a time. Slow like a turtle. But at least I am moving.

Still using oils on the areas that have tons of scars from surgeries and they are slowly improving. Also some good news on more doterra supplements we began giving to Adam. I will cover more of that later.

A dear friend gave us a weekend stay at her vacation home for just Tim and I. It was so nice to reconnect and just calm the panic for awhile. I will forever be grateful to her. didn’t realize how much we needed it until we went. No wifi, no tv, just quiet.

Bills are getting a bit caught up. Amazing how they pile up when you don’t work for 2 months while you take care of your sick wife. But I could not have survived without him. I was just not capable of doing anything accept going the bathroom and even wiping was a bit tough. But I refused to have my husband wipe me. It was bad enough he had to do everything else like I was a child. Not something you want your marriage to shift into. Guilt is hard to fight during that type of thing. My hope is that it made us stronger. Maybe we can take that honeymoon we never had before our 25th anniversary. And before either one of us gets sick again like this. Don’t wait for things guys. Don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right year”. That time or year may never come. Don’t put things off.

Well it’s after 10 and past my bedtime. Tomorrow I get to go to the Live Strong program at the Y in the valley. It’s great to have free access (just because I had cancer) for 12 weeks to have a trainer go through all types of exercise modalities Finally I can build up some muscle I lost and get rid of some of the fat. A great program and it’s fun.

Maybe sometime I will see my oncologist again but I’ve been avoiding her because I don’t want to see the disappointed and frustrated look on her face when I tell her again that No, I don’t want radiation or hormone blockers. or a damn flu shot. tee hee.

By the way…my hair is growing back nicely. Its about 2 inches long in the spots where I lost it. No more bald spots just a bit messy in the morning is all.

Talk soon!

Change is good…

Yes it can be. And there has been a LOT of it lately around here.

My hair is growing back in and although it’s a bit frizzy in the morning it is looking pretty good and I don’t have to cover up bald spots.

I finished chemo on October 8th. I finally healed up from surgeries about a month ago. Of course the oncologist and surgeon were after me to start radiation as quickly as possible. I had clear margins and the hormone positive tumor was only 1mm when they removed it.

My feeling is that chemo did it’s job and I have been through enough. Besides the 2 opinions I got were quite different so I really am not to confident that they really know what is best for me or if it’s all just guess work. I prayed a lot from November through March and decided I will not be doing radiation. Now before you go thinking I am nuts about this decision please know that I am looking at the big picture here. Yes radiation is recommended. This is based on a study over 20 years old that did not take into account every woman as an individual. Some women may have had small tumors or large ones after chemo was done. Other than age and type of tumor nothing else is taken into consideration in a woman’s treatment. NOTHING.

Radiation can also cause burns on the skin, lung damage, heart damage, bone damage and more. It is not easy for some to do. Some go through it without many side effects but there is no guarantee of anything. As is with any medical procedure no one can predict anything. I am still quite irritated over the fact the MRI was wrong so this is really making me doubt other things as well. So know that I have made this decision after much thought.

I have also decided not to take the hormone blockers that they recommend for the hormone positive tumor. There are 2 reasons for this.
1. I am sailing through menopause now thanks to the chemo and it looks like it will not reverse since I am 51 now anyway.
2. I don’t believe that the answer is to just block hormones like estrogen and progesterone to possibly prevent the cancer from returning. I like the idea of finding out why my immune system didn’t control this in the first place rather than just blocking what my body is normally supposed to be producing. I firmly believe one main reason I had cancer to begin with was the fact of messing with my hormones for years using birth control. On top of this the medication they use can have very serious side effects. Side effects that I do not want to chance at all. And with my luck with drugs and side effects I think it’s best not to try it.

Plus they originally said the hormone positive tumor would most likely not respond to this type of chemo I had because it typically didn’t in studies. It started out at 2.5 cm (at least if the mri was correct that is) and after chemo it was only 1mm.

Understand that I have lost so much during this year in this TRIP. I am done calling it a journey. It’s like a bad trip more than anything. Plus I have no idea if I will develop side effects down the road from the chemo. I have recently had to close my office where I did hands on services like reflexology due to the fact that after 2 months in a recliner after surgery I have now developed frozen shoulder and I still have occasional bouts with neuropathy in my hands which causes numbness and tingling. So it just wasn’t possible to keep the office in hopes of recovering soon enough. My landlord was very generous with me in allowing me to have a break on rent while I was off and I could not expect them to continue to do this as they have bills too. So, even though it broke my heart, I cleaned out my office over the weekend leaving behind only the mural that my daughter painted on the wall. I think that bothered me the most because she spent so much time on that for me.

We have fallen behind on bills and are dealing with debt up to our eyeballs. Our marriage has had a lot of stress and it’s hard on a relationship when one spouse has to take care of the other like they are a child. The only thing I could do was go to the bathroom by myself. Everything else I had to have help with and there were no at home health care facilities to help me. At least nothing that insurance would pay for. So Tim has to take off nearly 2 months to care for me. I still feel much guilt over all of that. I miss my family and my friends as I have been too exhausted and in so much pain from my shoulder to do much with them. Yes, I still have days where I feel exhausted and they tell me that this could go on for a year or more after chemo. Fun huh?

The steroids during chemo helped me to gain 46 pounds so I have been working on changing my diet and doing the things I NEED to do in order to stay healthy. Creating new habits is never easy but I am down 20 pounds since the first of the year so I am on my way. Every day of chemo they offered lunch so I ate a chicken salad with this vinaigrette dressing with spinach greens and other greens. To this day it makes me want to vomit just smelling that dressing or looking at salad greens other than just lettuce. Makes me sad as I used to love it and it was good for me. So salads are a bit of struggle right now.

I have a ton of counseling that I will be doing to help get through emotional blocks and work on me. I am so tired of dr appointments. It seems like that is all I ever do anymore. Hopefully the orthopedic doc will have some good news about my shoulder this week. Doing PT and massage therapy but of course insurance will not cover massage even though I think it is one of the best things for my shoulder.

Using lots of oils yet and supplements that I know are helping so much. Hate to think how bad I would feel without it. I am still teaching classes and educating individuals on the benefits of essential oils so at least that gives me some time to enjoy without seeing a dr. I enjoy helping people and hopefully will be able to increase my work with oils sooner than later.

On a plus side of closing my office I brought home some black out shades I had on my windows there and Tim is enjoying them in the bedroom so he can sleep during the day when he works 3rd shift. I still have the task of rearranging my room upstairs and getting all of my office items put away in their proper spots. Yes there is still a LOT in my car. Today was a very slow day and I just remembered I forgot to have Tim help me put on my tens machine before he left. Not sure I can reach the spots on my shoulder blade. Oh well. Guess I’ll have to get it as close as I can.

Not sure what HIS plan is for me but hopefully I will figure that out. Until then I will just keep praying and trying to love on others like I am supposed to do. And keep reminding myself to not be sad. Easier said than done I know but I will try. Hopefully the counseling will help. I see a specific cancer counselor plus I will be learning some EFT tapping to retrain my brain and I have joined a cancer group through church where I can share some of this trip with others who totally get what I am going through and help remind me to rely on God for this.

I would much rather take a vacation with my husband but that is just not possible right now. It’s not in the budget.

Have a great night everyone. Thanks for keeping tabs on me and for your prayers and positive energy. I am so thankful for all of it. I could not have made it through all this without you.