What a week!!

Ok so had my 2nd AC Treatment on Aug 30th.  Was not expecting what I got!  Came home Thursday after a rough 2 days of emotions -just feeling down and sad.  Went to bed at 10 pm and didn’t wake up til the next day (friday) at noon!  And still felt tired.  Thank heavens Tim was here to make me some meals as I didn’t even feel like cooking or even making a sandwich!  Ugh!  I got up for a couple of hours, ate and then went back to bed.  Slept for another 6 hours and then up for an hour and back to bed again for the night.  From Thurs. night til Monday morning I think I was awake maybe 8 hours!  I had no energy at all.  It was hard to even breathe and and eat.  I’ve had a lot of mashed potatoes lol as my stomach is not happy at all with the chemo drugs this time.  Even with all the meds they gave me I was still pretty nauseous.

Fun fact it can take up to 7 days after your treatment to wipe out most or all of your white blood cell count.  Leaving you with no immunity what so ever.  So please if you are sick stay away from anyone who is going through chemo.  If one runs a fever of over 100 then it may require a trip to the ER as an infection could run rampant.  I had a fever Saturday of 99.1 but it went down by morning and I took some onguard soft gels just in case I was exposed to anything.  They help to kill off bacteria and viruses.

I finally replenished my coffee this morning so here is a happy pic – and yes I STILL HAVE HAIR – I just put it up in a pony tail cause it was all over the place this morning.   But I have COFFEE!!!

Anyway I feel a bit more normal today and could even drive to the store for my coffee.  I am hoping that the next treatment will be the same or better as I will be leaving for Utah the Tuesday after!  My fellow drivers will need me to drive and be awake for the trip so think positive thoughts.

I have 2 more treatments to go.  Then they tell me I will see the surgeon and must wait til at least 4 weeks for all of my numbers to recover so no surgery until at least November.  Then I may need radiation afterward.  Had no idea this would be like a year long venture when I signed up.

Here I am looking like a dork again lol

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling

2 more pics like this.  They say hair starts to really shed after the 2 weeks mark with AC chemo.  Well today is day 18 and so far just a few strands have made the leap.  So I am praying the shed will not happen.  I don’t think I would look to attractive being bald or with peach fuzz.  At least I don’t have to deal with coloring my hair for the last 4 months lol.

BTW this chair I am in?  It has vibrators and a heater in it!  Real nice when your head is down to 35 degrees.  And it reclines so you can be somewhat comfy.  I have to be my own entertainment tho as no music or tv.  Hard to put ear plugs in and the liquid benedryl makes me sleep for most of the time there.  So my husband and SIL have a chat while they are there for me.  It’s nice cause when I wake up I am never alone and they ask me if I need a warm blanket or a drink.  I’m just not much company – although they probably like the quiet.  lol.

The fair went well and I met some new people and met up with some old friends.  Sadly I met 4 people who had or have had cancer too.  Sigh.  But I had some great visits with many people and I love that part of having a fair booth.  Which reminds me I need to check emails and do my reply’s.

I hope to get a message out next week.  Sometimes the good days get away on me too.  More fluids tomorrow and Thursday too.  Hopefully it will help me keep my immunity strong too.

Talk soon.

Jeanne

 

The Incredible Shrinking Tumor….

Had an ultrasound this last week to check my progress.  I will have a total of 16 chemo treatments.   (I am on number 14 next week)

The first ultrasound was at #6 and this last one was at #12.

The ultrasound on Tuesday, June 26th showed a tumor size of 16 x 11 x 20 mm.

The ultrasound on Tuesday, August 14th showed a tumor size of 14 x 8 x 20mm

Not a huge amount of shrinkage in 7 weeks but I will take it!  I don’t think the dr is looking for total disappearance of the tumor by the end of September but it should be much smaller.  Considering it started out 5 cm longer to begin with.

The first AC was a bit nerve wracking but there were no huge issues.  I felt very drained for 3 days after it though.  Had to get a driver for my fluid appointment (ha ha like I’m getting my windshield wiper fluid checked) and for my oils class we had.  So glad I didn’t have to miss either of these due to two great friends who offered to drive!

The neulesta shot hurt really bad!  Other ladies tell me to have them inject it slower and it won’t hurt as much.  So far the bone pain is very slight so hopefully it will not get any worse than this, as they tell me I have to have a shot after each of the next 3 chemo treatments.  Ugh!

I see the doctor thursday the 23rd to check my blood numbers and hope for the best.  Soon I will be meeting with the surgeon again to discuss options after we get a final MRI of chemo results.

I am nervous about the Utah trip for doterra convention.  I got my ticket months ago and plan it every year but this has thrown a wrench into my plans.  I will be leaving between the 15th and 16th treatments.  So not sure how I will be feeling and hoping for a smooth drive to Utah.  The nausea has been a bit worse with these drugs vs the taxol combo but am able to control it with meds, acupressure (yes I got to see the theda care natural doc) and eating small meals every few hours.  So far no vomiting which is a plus!  I have had some muscle type issues with my colon and not sure what is causing it but for you ladies who have had a baby, do you remember the pressure you felt in that area when you were giving birth?  yeah, that kinda describes it pretty well except there is no definite end to the pain.  Had to take some pain killers to get to sleep with it.  Hoping it will not come back again as this was the second time.

But back to the natural doc.  It was soooooo nice to be informed that I am doing a lot of the things she recommends already!  Even though I didn’t’ need them she gave me some reflexology points to help with nausea, hot flashes and neuropathy.  Imagine that huh?  Also she recommended the ginger oil and other supplements I am using too.  Made me feel good to have a doctor who knew what I was talking about and was recommending it all too!

My chiropractor is helping with the hip and leg pain I have had and it is tolerable now.  Just not going for jogs or long walks any time soon.

Fair should be fun.  If it’s not fun in the booth I can always go home so if I miss you there just fill out a “sorry I missed you” slip and put it into the cute box Charley made for us and I will get back to you after the fair.  I will not be there tomorrow as we take Charley to school for move in.  Summer went so fast and now off she goes to dorm life.  I am nervous but hope all will go well for her.  Still trying to remember everything we need and probably will forget something important.  Too bad she can’t take Fawn with her.  But no animals allowed.  Darn.

If you see me don’t be alarmed as I “look” tired.  And I am tired.  If you want you can offer me a place to take a nap lol.  But I don’t think I will look rested for the next two months of this as it’s hard to sleep with hot flashes and bone pain so if it’s 3pm and you can’t reach me then you can probably expect that I am napping.  And it may not be planned.  lol.

On a sad note our beloved barn kitty, Cupcakes or “Cakes” as he was lovingly called got very ill and passed away this week.  It was so hard to see him sick and we tried everything we could to help him but it just didn’t work.  He had the prettiest blue eyes and was the last of our Siamese kitty line.  I will miss him but I know he is in a happier place.  I was a crying mess just like a kid losing a pet and even tear up now thinking about it.  Don’t worry though Garfield is still visiting our deck and is trying hard to take Cakes place by rolling on his back and looking all cute and cuddly.

But it just shows us again how life is short sometimes and we shouldn’t take it for granted as it can end quickly before we want it too.  I am not in control nor is any other person here on earth.  So I try hard to tell myself not to worry about the future because I am not in control of it.  God has my plan and it will happen whether I want to follow it or not.  Whether I like it or not.  But that’s why he brought me a couple of really good counselors to help me get through all this.  🙂

Have a great day and I will let you know what the numbers are on thursday sometime this next week.  Sometimes I get behind a bit.  Can’t imagine why.

#13 coming up….

Very nervous this last week because the dose dense stuff starts tomorrow.  Heavy duty strength so that’s why they do them every other week.  2 different drugs so I have no idea how I will react to them.  Just another reminder that God is in control.

Last week was a very emotional and ugly week for me.  I was very sad and very angry all at once.  But a good friend invited me to tool around on a pontoon Sunday and man was that just what I needed.  It was so relaxing and part of the day Adam was at respite so we didn’t have to worry about him.  Then Tim took me out for awhile and we talked for like 5 hours.  So needed that!

Part of the reason I felt so sad was that I worked so hard last year to lose 50 pounds and due to the steroids and all this cancer crap I have gained 20 lbs in twelve weeks!!!    On top of that most women have a hard time getting rid of this after treatments are over!  ugh!  I feel so bloated and just huge.  So I am trying to stay below 25 carbs a day…..this is really really hard to do!  Wow.  Have to watch every label and look up every veggie for the carb info.  But it takes my mind off of the chemo so I guess thats a plus.

So my face is a bit more chubby but look at all that grey hair growing in!  Yes the cold capping is working along with the supplements and the essential oils.  I think i have about a 1-1/2″ growth going on now.  Of course I have no idea how hair will react with new drugs.  Hopefully I will not lose any hair as a result.   I just can’t wait until October when I can wash my hair more than 2x a week and actually use warm/hot water when I do!  This cold water stuff is for the birds!

I feel fairly good but have my bad moments but the side effects have not been as bad as others have had it.  Last week after the 12th taxol I had a lot of leg and hip pain.  Common side effect called neuropathy but it is not constant so that is a good thing.  Trying not to rely on ibuprofen to help with it as I want to keep my liver as healthy as possible during all the other junk they are throwing at me.

Another part of the sadness is that my business in Hortonville is only 2 years old and my time with doterra is at 6 years now and both were just starting to take off more then all of this happened.   I am down to working only 2 days a week on both and it is so hard for me to do.  Many clients are not available for just a tues or wed but I have until oct to finish the chemo and then depending on surgery will depend on how long I will be out of order for that.  I so want to put more time into both but my body is just not cooperating with me and it makes me feel like I have failed in many ways.  I know it’s just Satan whispering in my ear but it can get overwhelming sometimes.

Tomorrow the dose dense protocol has the tendency to wipe out your white blood cells and lower all blood counts so they automatically want to give you nuelesta injection after.  This drug pushes your bone marrow to produce more blood cells and that in turn can cause excruciating bone pain.  I am hoping to talk my dr out of it and waiting to see how the first treatment goes.  FUN FACT – this drug costs about $10,000 for each injection.  There are 4 doses of chemo left so do the math.  Thankfully my insurance will cover this but I just don’t want to do it because of the possible side effects.

Again, thank you all for the prayers and positive vibes.  It is keeping me from a deep depression through this and helping me to stay positive.  Also…….I went in for another ultrasound for the left tumor (it is more aggressive than the right one so they are watching it closer) and they will compare it to the one I had in June.  But the technician was having a hard time finding the tumor and was constantly referring to the last scan to be sure she had the right area.  They do mark it with a small titanium clip when they biopsy it so they can have a marker for surgery but because it has shrunk so much it was hard for her to get a definite area.  I was really hoping she wouldn’t find anything but I will take this.  The radiologist who looked the images over told her “I don’t need to look again, it’s doing what it is supposed to do”.  So I take that as it is shrinking.   I should have some exact measurements when I go in tomorrow to compare to June so I can’t wait for that.

Right now I am in my office diffusing the Anchor Yoga blend and it is heavenly.  Helping to ground me so my thoughts don’t drive me crazy before treatment tomorrow.

We are slowly figuring out how to help Adam best and met with his home team and now will need to schedule an IEP within the next few weeks in order to help him best at school.  I can’t believe school starts in 20 days!  And in 35 days two of my friends (and business partners) and I leave for Utah for the Global Convention.  I can’t wait and pray I am feeling well enough to travel well.  It only takes 22 hours to drive there lol.  So look for Dash on my facebook page as he will be traveling with us.  Al may come along too.  I have to see how much room I have.  There is some kind of secret and fabulous guest speaker on Saturday afternoon that week and they won’t tell us who it is til that day. Also some new products and oils will be released too.   I can’t wait!   So watch my Dreams of Jeanne Facebook page and the SpOILer Group if you are a wholesale member for updates and pictures of mountains and Dash’s adventures from Sept. 18-23.

Also I will be at the Waupaca County Fair next week (as much as my body allows) from 22-26th but I will not be there the 22nd as that is move in day for Charley at MKE Art Institute and I will not be there on Sunday the 26th until it is time to pack up and go.  So if you see that I am at the fair the other days stop in the new commercial building and say Hi.  I would love to see how many of my friends stop in – I’ll be counting.  lol

Talk soon!

Jeanne

 

 

Still learning….

Well this week has not been so bad.  Made it through Saturday for the party.  Was really tired by the end of the day but I made it.  I have been having some digestive woes and the dr told me this could happen and can be normal but because it has gone on for a week now they want to test me for Cdifficile or Cdiff which is a bacterial infection.

Not a very nice one either.  It can be very hard to get rid of.  They didn’t tell me that chemo kills off a large portion of your good gut bacteria – good thing I’ve been using some probiotics this whole time as they never recommended it to me.  Hadn’t even thought that the chemo can kill off this too.  I will find out after tomorrow if this is the case.  I pray it isn’t cause I just can’t deal with one more thing with this.  Getting sick and tired of being sick and tired from all this.

I also found out that even if they remove ALL of your breast tissue that doesn’t mean you will never get breast cancer again.  Apparently the breast cancer can move to other places of the body and begin to grow there.  Likely the lungs, liver, bones and brain.  Nice to know huh?  So for everyone who thinks they are safe from it after a mastectomy you really are not.  This is one of the reasons why I may just insist on lumpectomy and not the very invasive mastectomy surgery.

Did fluids twice this week as it seems to help with the exhaustion I feel and they decreased the steroids (which help with nausea) so I am not so hungry ALL the time but now I have more nausea at home so the fluids seem to help with that too so I don’t have to take so many pills for it at home.  I feel like a walking pharmacy sometimes.

On the plus side tho I think I have about an inch of new hair growth (in grey of course) on my head.  I am very thankful that the cold capping is working. It is hard only being able to wash my hair twice a week with shampoo.  And I can only use very luke warm water.  Brrrrr in the shower but it’s easier than trying to do it in the sink.  I am having better results than most women have with the cold capping so I feel so blessed for that.  But the dose dense drugs are coming on august 16th bi-weekly so I am not sure how the hair will react to that.  These are two different drugs than what I have been given the first 12 weeks. I believe one they refer to as the “red devil” as it is colored red.  I wonder if it’s the bags I see others have that are covered in a protective opaque bag? There are so many other people getting treatment when I am there and many have different regiments depending on their diagnosis.  Sometimes there are up to 20 other people having chemo at the same time.  We will see.  I just hope for the best.  Please keep in mind one of these two drugs has a small percentage of a chance to cause cancer of the blood or leukemia and to damage heart muscle.  This is what worries me the most but I don’t have much of a choice right now.

I will have another ultrasound of the left tumor on the 14th to compare to the others to see how much it is shrinking.  Looking forward to that.

It is nice however to not have to worry about stray hairs on my face or having to shave at all so that all saves me time lol.  Still have some eyebrows and lashes so yippee.  Yet I keep having dreams they are all gone and that I have a mullet hair cut and the hair behind my ears is falling out.  I guess my sub conscience is really worried about this. lol  Not sure where the mullet part came from but it didn’t look good in my dream.  I do miss the nose hairs tho cause my nose just decides to run whenever it feels like it with no warning.  So I get to carry around extra kleenex with me wherever I go.  I imagine I am so stuffy all the time because there is nothing to filter out dust and other pollutants from going right to my sinuses now.  And my house is a dust bunny heaven!

I am still able to work Tuesday and Wednesdays so that I am thankful for.  Gotta pay the rent and not have people forget who I am!  Still running the sale until end of august but I may only be doing 2 days a week throughout september depending on how the new chemo is going this month.  Plus I will hopefully be driving out to Utah for Doterra’s global convention on sept 18th. (7 weeks from now!)  So I will be closed that week.  Wish me luck that I am well enough to make the trip.  It will really take my mind off of all this other negative stuff for sure.

I will be at the waupaca county fair in a booth here and there from aug 23-25th.  Luckily I have two other great ladies who are doing wed and sunday so stop by and see us.  We have some specials going on with doterra and we will be in the NEW building.  We move Charley in to the dorm on the 22nd already so I will hopefully be in milwaukee that day to help her.  This summer just flew.  Not sure I am ready for this yet.

I have not been the easiest person to live with this week.  Very irritable, upset, mad, sad, happy, angry – every emotion all within 10 minutes time sometimes.  Please pray for my family who are putting up with me.  Sometimes I just feel like my life has been put on hold and I have not control over anything at all!  Drives me nuts.  I have always been independent so I am trying to tell myself it’s ok to ask for help and receive help.  That’s not going so well.

Again, thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts.  Without them I know I would feel so down and depressed every minute.  I appreciate those who have helped me out -especially during Charley’s party last weekend.  It was wonderful.

#12 and final of these first two drugs is on Thursday.  those 12 weeks seem to have gone so fast and yet so slow.  lol.  Wish me luck!

Jeanne

Another Fun Cancer Fact….

Well not so fun but I wonder how many people know that some of the drugs used to fight breast cancer can also CAUSE leukemia or blood cancer or other cancers.  I was amazed at how some women who are currently on this journey had no idea that the drug they are using for chemo can actually cause cancer in another part of the body.

This week I read through the sheets they gave me when I began this whole thing, I read that part of it and how it says “talk to your dr. about this”.  Well duh.  I did but they really don’t give you another option and as I read this “may cause leukemia or blood cancer”  I began to cry.  I don’t cry that often in this journey now as I have accepted most of it but this, this just made me cry out of anger.  How can this be the ONLY option given to people?  How can this be acceptable?

Then I see a post in one of my cancer groups on fb that a recent Yale study shows that those who use alternative cancer treatments die sooner than those that use conventional.  So basically poo-pooing alternative treatments.  This angered me even more.  For one, the poster had no idea who paid for the Study- a big issue for me.  But in a world where the only “treatment” or “cure” the oncology dept can give me is a possible damage to my organs and veins as well as possible cancer caused by the drugs why wouldn’t a person try and look for a more natural way to “treat” this??  Sadly modern medicine can’t even get on the same page with treatments.  They go by a study of a few thousand women who are all different, and just because 85-90% of them had a good outcome then that is the treatment plan for every single woman who comes in with this same cancer issue.  That’s fine if you are not the 10-15% that the treatment doesn’t work for isn’t it?  That’s fine if you are NOT one of the 1% who ends up with another cancer or permanent organ damage – including brain damage – from the treatment.  Do it anyway cause the study said so.  And big pharma cashes in.  Did you know that they gi ve you neulesta a drug to help make blood cells if your numbers fall to low because the chemo kills it?  Did you also know that ONE treatment, and you may need up to 16 treatments in my regiment, is $10,000???  And that does’t even count in the actual chemo treatment.  I don’t even want to see what our total may be after all of this.  Yet this is a woman’s ONLY option and a better choice than anything natural?

After talking with over 100 women online going through the same thing it is UNREAL how many oncologists are not on the same page with natural supplements.  Mine says no problem and tracks what I take.  Others will tell woman absolutely NO supplements not even a multi-vitamin or an extra C, B or Vitamin D. They even have different ideas of what you should eat and drink during this.  GRRRRRRR.

Ok rant over, but you get my drift on all of this right?  I am just pissed off and when I get pissed off I cry.

My week has been very exhausting.  I had to cancel a few things as I just couldn’t get to them.  I did do a vitamin C infusion but it didn’t seem to do much and not sure if it is worth $225 for another.  I feel like I am constantly hung over yet alcohol doesn’t really appeal to me much right now.  I know, SHOCKER!  lol.

My white blood cell was a bit elevated and red blood cell a little low.  Not to much that it altered any treatment though.  We will see what my tests say tomorrow.  No fevers anyway so that is good.  Not bad that I made it over 1/2 way before the numbers began to waiver.  So that is a plus.

Another plus is I had to trim my bangs again today as they were hanging in my eyes to much.  Hopefully it will continue to grow after I start the dose dense red devil crap on aug 16th.

I am hoping to stay awake all day Saturday for Charley’s graduation party.  Last Saturday was a nappy kind of day so wish me luck.  Finally replenished my coffee supply so that should help.  I am also going to try a new oil recipe for pain issues (headache mostly) that a dear friend gave to me last night.  I will let you know how it works.  She is a nurse and said it helps many of her clients at an assisted living facility she works at.  It’s great having so many connections!  🙂

So far I have been able to work 2 days out of the week but this week was really hard.  I am hoping next week will be better.  I will also be getting another ultrasound before I start the dose dense to see if the tumor has shrunk further.  Continued prayers would be much appreciated -even tho I know I don’t have to ask because i know you are all thinking of me when you are not busy lol.

So tomorrow is #11 out of 16.  Can’t wait to have my Thursdays back sometime.  Thanks for helping me stay positive through all this crap.  I appreciate you all.

See ya next week.

Jeanne

 

Week 9 of 16

Even after 9 weeks of chemo I am still learning about it!

With no hairs in your nose, due to chemo, there is nothing to filter out dirt and allergens and help to get rid of mucus either. So I am very stuffy as well as have more bloody noses and other sinus issues.  Sadly if I don’t take a claritin every single day my head feels like it will explode.

I also learned that I don’t have to take steroids, the main reason to use them each week is for allergic reactions to the chemo and to help battle the nausea.  The nausea has not been to bad so I am going to ask them if I can avoid the steroids and hopefully I won’t have the food cravings and bloating from it.  It has been helpful to speak to other women going through this as I thought this was not an option but they tell me different.

I’ve also asked to have iv fluids each week now after treatment as it really helps with the exhaustion.  So hopefully they will agree with that.

I am worried how the AC treatments will go during August and September as they are  more dose dense and could have more severe side effects.  I’ve been trying to keep an open mind about this but it is hard when I see many others doing treatments who look so unhealthy and you can tell they do not feel well during their treatments.

My doterra team and I have been discussing products to help with all of this and someone asked how many products do you use in any one given day.  I have found that even without the whole cancer issue I use anywhere from 16-25 products or oils each and every day.  I still think this is why I have had such good success with it all.  I feel so  bad for those women who are told by their dr not to take any vitamins or minerals or even omega 3 while they are going through their regiment for cancer.  These women feel so sick and feel just awful for the most part.  I don’t understand why the drs are not all on the same page with this.  My dr says as long as she has a list of what I am using she has had no problem with me taking supplements and using oils.  She only had issue with the Alpha CRS because it does have ingredients that can increase blood flow and I was getting a lot more leg and joint pain and nerve issues when I took it.  Otherwise all the rest have been good.  But then there are other doctors who say “absolutely NOT” for any type of supplement, even vitamin D3.  I just don’t understand it, there are many studies that point to the opposite of this theory.  Yet many women will ONLY do what their dr tells them to do.  For me, I cannot offer that type of blind faith in a dr.  Not when I’ve done my own research on this.  It is MY BODY not the drs.  One woman even said her dr said NO tea and I feel bad for her because without my essiac tea my hot flashes would be out of control and I’d be miserable.

So far with the iv fluids my Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday until treatment on Thursdays are going pretty well.  So I’ll take it!  I am able to see clients on Tuesdays & Wednesdays so far and it is working well.  I hope to continue it until the end of September.  I will be giving the 25% discount on the reflexology and reiki until end of August so I am hoping everyone will take advantage of this while I need to limit my hours.

Kids seem to be handling things well, Adam still has his share of meltdowns and I think it’s because he is unsure of what is all going on and it’s tough for him to understand it.  Stability is best for him but there are just times when things change quickly and there is no time to prepare for them.  So it’s one day at a time.

Here I am in my astronaut outfit again.  lol.  But so far I have not lost any hair.  I am happy.

Have a great day and count your blessings, be grateful for at least one thing today.  I am grateful I can walk wherever I need to go right now. Thank you Lord!

Jeanne

Fun Cancer Fact……

When your blood counts of red and white cells drops due to chemo they give you a drug called nuelesta.
Guess how much it is for ONE injection??
Did you guess 5 figures?
If not you were way off!
Saw a friend who went through this last year.
$10,000 per injection. Sometimes you need more than one.
#healthcareintheusa
I pray I can avoid these.

Half Way There!!

Well it took me a bit to recover this week and had two big events going on so that took much of my time!

The dr. opted to give me a bag of fluids on Friday last week and it really seemed to help me get over the exhaustion.  So I may be doing that weekly for a bit.

Even tho I try and drink 1/2 my weight in water every day it just wasn’t enough.  I am retaining water from the steroids like mad and look like a blowfish.  Ugh!  But my blood work has been good and the side effects not so bad.

Fun fact – Chemo puts you into menopause whether you want to go or not or are even old enough for it!  So the hot flashes got really bad last week – however, I realized I had not been drinking my 1/2 cup of essiac tea daily for a Image result for essiac tea

week and realized this could be why.  Back on the tea for 2 days and the hot flashes are much better controlled.  Still get warm but at least it’s not waking me up every hour of the night!  And I found an oil blend that helps with it too.  Small victories!

I made it to the two concerts this week but Sunday and Monday I sorta paid for it with fatigue.  Was just too tired to do much of anything.  Church was very hard to not sleep through.  But the concerts were so much fun and now I can say I have experienced Summerfest.

Thinking of joining a support group that meets every other month at the center so that may help too with the nasty bloating feeling.  Just feel kinda ugly lately.  But I still have my hair – I am so thankful I don’t have a bald head to remind me of all this daily.

Caffeine is becoming my friend to help battle the exhaustion – don’t judge.

If you are not busy on the next three thursdays let me know – I may need some company at the chemo sessions.  4 more of the basic taxol treatments to go then a dose dense 4 treatments with AC (different drugs) at the end for 4 treatments every other week.  My hope is that I will do ok in September at the doterra conference on my off week.  We will see.  It’s a long drive but is more recommended than flying is right now so I am willing even if I’m not able lol.

Eyebrows are still there although some have mutinied but I am having dreams I lost them totally and then I don’t have an eyebrow pencil to draw them in.  Good grief!   My buddy said just use a sharpie.  Reminds me of the days when people passed out drunk and someone would shave off one of their eyebrows or part of a mustache and then they would use a sharpie to draw it back in.  Fun times.  And no I was not the one getting shaved back then.

I really think I am not anemic yet (common side effect) because of the vitamins and supplements I have been using.  I will be going to a natural doc. on Friday to see about vitamin infusions – these can help the cancer fight but also the fatigue.  Plus it boosts immunity which I need right now.

Mouth sores are common during this whole process too and I have been fortunate until now – the corners of my mouth are cracking a bit so I’ve been using the correct x ointment on it and it seems to be helping – I hope.  I don’t need the face of a teenager!  Acne is common too – yeah, yay me!  Who wants to dress me up, put on some makeup and go out and look cute for a bit?  Tired of feeling blah or what is the emoji?  Meh?  Yeah that’s me right now.

So tomorrow is #9 and I have 2 wonderful ladies joining me.  So glad people want to spend time watching me sleep and getting me warm blankies.  I know it sounds boring and it probably is, but I am so thankful some of you want to do that.  It means a lot to me.

Watch for Dash’s pics tomorrow – he’s such a camera ham.  Poor Al has to photo bomb just to get in a picture.

 

#7 is in the books

Yesterday I completed #7 – have 9 more to go.  Will finish up in September – I hope.

All my numbers were “beautiful” again as the dr. said.  So my organs are keeping up with all this.  I still thank my supplements for this and God of course.

The cold capping has kept 100% of my hair so far and I am so incredibly blessed and pray it continues.  I have had no major shedding at all which can happen for some.  Haven’t had to shave my legs for 2 weeks tho – kinda liking that part.  My eyebrows are still going strong too.  hurray.

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I shared this pic on fb yesterday as my wonderful sis inlaw sat with me and brought me snacks and took my pictures.  Thank You Jan!

Anyway you will notice there is a maxi pad on the part of the cold cap that does the cooling part.  The cap has small tubes in it that I assume liquid nitrogen goes through to do the cooling down to 35 degrees.  This pad is put on for a very important reason.  There is a cloth/foam cover that goes over this and it is important to get the top of the head as close to the cooling as possible and typically our skulls are not to even on the top so if there is any type of a dip the pad helps to make better contact in that area.  So even tho it looks incredibly funny before they cover it know that it is for a good reason. lol

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Here is what the finished product looks like and I have to wear it and look like an astronaut for about 5.5 hours.  So it makes for about a 7 hour day total with all the premeds they give me.

I look a bit puffy due to the steroids they give me for potential allergies.  They make me retain water terribly.  So even though I am drinking 1/2 my weight in ounces each day I am feeling very bloated.  yuck!  The scale says an added 12lbs in a few weeks time.  boooooo!

Although I am using some outside sources other than doterra for natural support it is very expensive.  Just a consult with no IV vitamins treatment is about $425!  Ugh!  And of course insurance won’t go near any of this kind of thing.  But IV vitamins have shown to help stop cancer and regress it.  So I would really like to do B17 and C but it’s another $100 for each infusion on top[ of the 425.  grrrrrr.  And with limited time for work it is hard making less than before this all started to keep up.  I try not to let it bother me but there are constant reminders every day.

Trying hard to stay positive.  The ultrasound on Tuesday showed that the tumor in the left, when compared to the MRI (kinda of like comparing apples to oranges tho) has confident results of the tumor shrinking so the dr is confident that the treatment is working and we are continuing on.

The MRI before I began in May showed measurements of 7 x 2.6 x 3.0 cm.

The ultrasound on Tuesday showed 1.8 x 1.1 x 1.6 cm.

Not real precise because it is 2 different testing modalities but radiology says it looks positive so I am going with that.

So I will continue to plug on and do both western and eastern medicine to beat this.

Thanks again for all the prayers and positive thoughts.  You don’t know how good it makes me feel every day.

Thoughts….

When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on March 23rd of this year I felt like I was being shoved in a corner and forced to make decisions that didn’t agree with me.  I felt as though no one wanted to hear me and that the decisions of what was to be done were already made for me.  Doctors go by what a study says as to how they will treat what you have or do not have.  Some even treat you like you don’t have any say so in this because you don’t know medicine.  I am not a doctor but I knew enough that I wasn’t going to let them just pick and choose what they did without an explanation and without my say so.  I also knew that just because they saw something on a test it did not mean it was gold.  As in, it did not mean they had all the right answers.

Doctors can be wrong and a diagnosis does not identify YOU.  Even treatment ideas can be wrong so just because the dr tells you that you have this much time or that this or that will be the best plan I would recommend you seek more opinions and do some research yourself.

When I was diagnosed the dr had it all planned out for me.  You will do this chemo according to this study.

Then you will have a double mastectomy even though you are not genetically predisposed to any cancer, then you will have reconstructive surgery and choose the breast implants you would like or radiation first which you will most likely need and then you may magically be cured when we’ve done all of this.  This will take you to about October of this year so don’t plan any vacations that require air flight and large crowds.

Done deal.  Ready?  OK let’s go.

And that is honestly how I felt.  They had it all planned.  Didn’t matter what I thought even though they assured me it did matter.  Yet most of my suggestions were either ignored or were dismissed as not the best choice at all.  We just do this, this and that all in that order and we will try and cure you.

Can you imagine how angry I was?  I felt like I had no where to turn.

After all of the overwhelming feelings wore off and I am glad I waited a month to even start treatment to get my ducks in a row because now I could think clearly.  I was able to make decisions that were right for me.  I was able to process all the things they were telling me.  They were in a rush and I am here to tell you, don’t be in a rush.  Even though my one tumor is more aggressive I am glad I did things slower than what they wanted me to.

I also began to look at my stress levels and how I was eating and decided I needed to make some changes in order to improve my health.  Many things I had been doing were literally destroying my immune system.

I visualize the chemo and the changes eating up the cancer.  Dissolving it like paper that has been soaking in water for a day.  Focusing on

“it’s not about you.  It’s the BIGGER PICTURE”

Just because this is how something has always been done doesn’t mean it’s the right answer!  DARE TO BE DIFFERENT.  Sometimes it is what is needed.  Look from outside of the box.

Instead of asking “why me” think about the bigger picture of how you can change things for someone else.  Maybe that is why this journey has come in your pathway.  Let go of the ego and then you will see the bigger picture.  What you need to do, think, say and more.

There is no ONE right answer.  If there was EVERYONE would be doing it now wouldn’t we?  Everyone is different so what works for one may not work at all for another.  That is why I chose to do the chemo I have and will decide on what type of surgery I want and what natural options I want to use on my journey and not just go with the norm.  Because this is MY JOURNEY and no one else’s.  This has happened to draw me down another path.  I had considered doing some of the things on this path before but would not have chosen to do this without this diagnosis.  In other words I would not have found a reason that was important enough until now to make these changes that were needed long ago.  Let that sink in.

If there is something that has been nagging and or gnawing at you to change then what are you waiting for?  Waiting for it to get bad enough for you to make the change more important? Don’t wait.  The sooner you do it will make it easier when you have to do it.  Trust me, voice of experience here.

Maybe now I will finally finish that book I have had in my brain for years.  Maybe I’ll finally take that vacation I have been putting off and convincing myself of some excuse not to do it.

I am not doomed and neither are you.  Everyone has a battle and it may not be the same as yours but it is still a battle.  We still don’t give up fighting it daily.  It does not define you.  It just may be unique to you. But along the way you will find many similarities in your journey and many others who are warriors every day.  So rejoice in your battle.  I love the song that says:

You won’t make yourself a name if you follow the rules
History gets made when you’re acting a fool
So don’t hold it back and just run it
Show what you got and just own it
No, they can’t tear you apart
If you trust your rebel heart, ride it into battle
Don’t be afraid, take the road less traveled
Wear out your boots and kick up the gravel
Don’t be afraid, take the road less traveled on
So take the road less traveled my friends and DARE TO BE DIFFERENT.