Ending my Trip

Yes for me, I am ending this trip.

The more I meet other cancer survivors and those still going through the treatments, I am more convinced that i made the right decision not to continue treatment.

Today a woman who went through treatment in the fox valley said a doctor in another area said to her “they tend to over radiate in the fox valley”. If doctors know this why does it still continue? Maybe this is why the opinion up here was for more body area as well as for 2 weeks longer than my 2nd opinion. Personally we all deserve better. My advice to anyone of you who would sadly have to go through this trip that you please get a 2nd or 3rd opinion before you make your final decision.

I met 3 people in the last 2 weeks that were misdiagnosed and one man almost lost his life because of it.

So even though both of my opinions recommended radiation I have decided not to do it. One woman today in my group said she is afraid of the hormone medication they have her on because it can cause osteoperosis and she is afraid she will lose her teeth from treatment. You see,, they recommend hormone blockers for hormone positive breast cancer. This is a tumor that is fed by hormones that the body produces. Such as estrogen, progesterone and her2. I can be one of them 2 or all 3. The current way to “treat” this is to give drugs orally that can block these hormones. There are many places that produce estrogen, including fat cells so even if they remove the ovaries or you go through menopause you can still produce hormones to feed cancerous tumors. One of my tumors was estrogen & progesterone positive. So even though there was only 1mm tumor left after chemo and they removed it with clear margins they still want me to take these drugs for at least a decade….or two. There are of course, many side effects that could happen and I don’t feel that blocking hormones that my body needs to stay healthy is the answer to prevent future tumors.

Of course, I realize I could be wrong, but this is my body and it really is my decision.

Sometimes I feel like this was all just a dream and that I never really went through chemo. I guess mainly because I was fortunate to not have many side effects which many people get severely ill from chemo and some so much that they are unable to complete treatment. When others talk about how they were so sick I almost feel guilty that I had it so much better.

Slowly we are trying to put our lives back together. I still have the frozen shoulder to deal with and it causes quite a bit of pain. So that is why I was forced to close my office in Hortonville. That was a really tough thing to have to do. Cancer takes so much from you even if you fight to hang on to it. Although my arm is getting better slowly I am still limited to what I can do yet. I have been working on intermediate fasting and cutting out sugar and processed foods to support my health. I have lost 23 lbs since the beginning of the year and 10 of it was in the last 3 weeks. I don’t think diet can completely prevent cancer but I do believe that it helps your body to keep a stronger immune system. And since fat makes estrogen it would be very beneficial to get rid of as much of it as I can.

Counseling is my main focus with my physical therapy right now. Cancer does a number on your emotional health and so does negative emotions from the past. So I am working on that too. Had my first base thermography done this week. This registers warmth in the body as tumors have blood vessels and show heat with blood flow. Each scan in compared to the one before to look for changes. You can do full body scans but I did breast scan only for now. It was $150 that insurance does not cover. But there is no radiation and that makes me feel safer. Plus I believe they are more accurate than a radioactive scan that is wrong 22% of the time.

I have some oil classes and events coming up so I can still enjoy sharing oils with others. I am still unpacking all of my office so it is hard to find things I need. It’s hard to put it all away without feeling defeated. So much work to do but I am still fighting fatigue that just seems to come out of the blue sometimes. So I take it one day at a time. Slow like a turtle. But at least I am moving.

Still using oils on the areas that have tons of scars from surgeries and they are slowly improving. Also some good news on more doterra supplements we began giving to Adam. I will cover more of that later.

A dear friend gave us a weekend stay at her vacation home for just Tim and I. It was so nice to reconnect and just calm the panic for awhile. I will forever be grateful to her. didn’t realize how much we needed it until we went. No wifi, no tv, just quiet.

Bills are getting a bit caught up. Amazing how they pile up when you don’t work for 2 months while you take care of your sick wife. But I could not have survived without him. I was just not capable of doing anything accept going the bathroom and even wiping was a bit tough. But I refused to have my husband wipe me. It was bad enough he had to do everything else like I was a child. Not something you want your marriage to shift into. Guilt is hard to fight during that type of thing. My hope is that it made us stronger. Maybe we can take that honeymoon we never had before our 25th anniversary. And before either one of us gets sick again like this. Don’t wait for things guys. Don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right year”. That time or year may never come. Don’t put things off.

Well it’s after 10 and past my bedtime. Tomorrow I get to go to the Live Strong program at the Y in the valley. It’s great to have free access (just because I had cancer) for 12 weeks to have a trainer go through all types of exercise modalities Finally I can build up some muscle I lost and get rid of some of the fat. A great program and it’s fun.

Maybe sometime I will see my oncologist again but I’ve been avoiding her because I don’t want to see the disappointed and frustrated look on her face when I tell her again that No, I don’t want radiation or hormone blockers. or a damn flu shot. tee hee.

By the way…my hair is growing back nicely. Its about 2 inches long in the spots where I lost it. No more bald spots just a bit messy in the morning is all.

Talk soon!

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