Slowly but surely…

Hello all.

Unfortunately my body is recovering very slowly since my last surgery on Dec. 7th.

I went from a DDD to about a B cup so there was a lot done for reconstruction plus it was only 2 weeks after the lumpectomies.

My treatment is at a standstill until my wounds heal from surgery.  I saw my surgeon last week and he is telling me that it will be at least 4 weeks until I will be well enough to begin radiation.

I consulted with a radiologist last week as well up here and she is confident that I should have radiation on both sides and on the lymph on the left side where triple negative tumor was.  I will be getting a second opinion next week in Madison to see what the plan will be.

I can tell you one thing I am getting really tired of the 4 walls at home.  I am thankful I have a nice warm and safe home, don’t get me wrong.  But I am frustrated that I cannot do the things I need to do.  I did get out for a few hours to teach a class and it was soooooo nice to talk to other adults and friends and talk oils.  Talking oils is one of my favorite things to do.  Sadly, this class really wore me out.  I slept quite a bit the next day and had a bit more pain than before.  So, this means I need to do things sporadically and hopefully will be able to do more as time goes on.

I am still using some pain killers a couple of times a day.  It helps alot before we do dressing changes as that is still quite painful and so are showers.  Thankful that my husband is so patient with me and helps me do the changes as I cannot physically do them right now.  Just not enough hands.  Because of the pain killers I am unable to drive yet – plus I am not sure how well I could due to the limitation in moving my arms.  Some muscle was cut during surgery and it is going to take some physical therapy to get my range of motion back.  I have not driven a car since Nov. 20th!  It feels so weird.

So my plan is that hopefully I may be able to go back to my office by mid February but no guarantee yet on that.  Again, frustrating because I am a planner.  I need my ducks in a row and they are just scattered everywhere right now!

So I am trying to pick up a duck here and there and get something productive done here and there without setting myself back with my healing.

I find myself fighting off the question of “what if this comes back?”

The radiologist said it is odd that they see non-hormone and hormone positive – basically 2 different types of cancer at the same time.  Many times it is one type of cancer and then years later there may be another type of cancer.  So maybe my body got it all over with at one time??  That’s my hope anyway.

No one can predict the future right?  All I can do is try and focus on health.  Sadly I chemo helped me to gain about 40 pounds and my body is just wanting to stay in the “comfort food” mode.  Which means sugar and carbs is a fight every day.  I am getting more veggies and fruit in though so it is not a lost cause.  Yay me.  Exercise is not on the menu yet, at least not anything more than just walking through the house.  Water, water, water is what I need to push myself for daily.

Hair is growing like mad now, which is a good thing.  But I certainly did not mind not shaving my legs for 8 months.  Note to self DO NOT WAIT 2 MONTHS to shave your legs.  Ever. It took me 45 minutes and I felt like sasquatch before I began.  Tim said I should of used a beard trimmer first!  I think I agree. But I felt 10 times better after I was done.

I really miss taking a bath as I cannot let any of my surgery area soak in water yet.  Only showers for now.  Which are still pretty excruciating to take.  Just the water pressure is painful.  But I am able to wash my hair with warm water now and not worry about it falling out!  1/2 of my hair is now grey but I am unable to color it right now anyway so I have time to consider leaving it grow out or going back to coloring it again.  And boy are those Grimmer eye brows back with a vengeance.  Because I have to lay back in a chair to have a wax done I can’t take care of that until I am healed better.  I am usually pretty low maintenance but this NO maintenance is for the birds.

But for now know that I am ok and getting better.  It has just  been slow and exhausting.  But at least it’s the right direction.

Hey, one great thing?  I can make my own cup of coffee now!  Kinda sad when that is considered progress huh?  lol.  But I’ll take it!

Talk soon



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