Still learning….

Well this week has not been so bad.  Made it through Saturday for the party.  Was really tired by the end of the day but I made it.  I have been having some digestive woes and the dr told me this could happen and can be normal but because it has gone on for a week now they want to test me for Cdifficile or Cdiff which is a bacterial infection.

Not a very nice one either.  It can be very hard to get rid of.  They didn’t tell me that chemo kills off a large portion of your good gut bacteria – good thing I’ve been using some probiotics this whole time as they never recommended it to me.  Hadn’t even thought that the chemo can kill off this too.  I will find out after tomorrow if this is the case.  I pray it isn’t cause I just can’t deal with one more thing with this.  Getting sick and tired of being sick and tired from all this.

I also found out that even if they remove ALL of your breast tissue that doesn’t mean you will never get breast cancer again.  Apparently the breast cancer can move to other places of the body and begin to grow there.  Likely the lungs, liver, bones and brain.  Nice to know huh?  So for everyone who thinks they are safe from it after a mastectomy you really are not.  This is one of the reasons why I may just insist on lumpectomy and not the very invasive mastectomy surgery.

Did fluids twice this week as it seems to help with the exhaustion I feel and they decreased the steroids (which help with nausea) so I am not so hungry ALL the time but now I have more nausea at home so the fluids seem to help with that too so I don’t have to take so many pills for it at home.  I feel like a walking pharmacy sometimes.

On the plus side tho I think I have about an inch of new hair growth (in grey of course) on my head.  I am very thankful that the cold capping is working. It is hard only being able to wash my hair twice a week with shampoo.  And I can only use very luke warm water.  Brrrrr in the shower but it’s easier than trying to do it in the sink.  I am having better results than most women have with the cold capping so I feel so blessed for that.  But the dose dense drugs are coming on august 16th bi-weekly so I am not sure how the hair will react to that.  These are two different drugs than what I have been given the first 12 weeks. I believe one they refer to as the “red devil” as it is colored red.  I wonder if it’s the bags I see others have that are covered in a protective opaque bag? There are so many other people getting treatment when I am there and many have different regiments depending on their diagnosis.  Sometimes there are up to 20 other people having chemo at the same time.  We will see.  I just hope for the best.  Please keep in mind one of these two drugs has a small percentage of a chance to cause cancer of the blood or leukemia and to damage heart muscle.  This is what worries me the most but I don’t have much of a choice right now.

I will have another ultrasound of the left tumor on the 14th to compare to the others to see how much it is shrinking.  Looking forward to that.

It is nice however to not have to worry about stray hairs on my face or having to shave at all so that all saves me time lol.  Still have some eyebrows and lashes so yippee.  Yet I keep having dreams they are all gone and that I have a mullet hair cut and the hair behind my ears is falling out.  I guess my sub conscience is really worried about this. lol  Not sure where the mullet part came from but it didn’t look good in my dream.  I do miss the nose hairs tho cause my nose just decides to run whenever it feels like it with no warning.  So I get to carry around extra kleenex with me wherever I go.  I imagine I am so stuffy all the time because there is nothing to filter out dust and other pollutants from going right to my sinuses now.  And my house is a dust bunny heaven!

I am still able to work Tuesday and Wednesdays so that I am thankful for.  Gotta pay the rent and not have people forget who I am!  Still running the sale until end of august but I may only be doing 2 days a week throughout september depending on how the new chemo is going this month.  Plus I will hopefully be driving out to Utah for Doterra’s global convention on sept 18th. (7 weeks from now!)  So I will be closed that week.  Wish me luck that I am well enough to make the trip.  It will really take my mind off of all this other negative stuff for sure.

I will be at the waupaca county fair in a booth here and there from aug 23-25th.  Luckily I have two other great ladies who are doing wed and sunday so stop by and see us.  We have some specials going on with doterra and we will be in the NEW building.  We move Charley in to the dorm on the 22nd already so I will hopefully be in milwaukee that day to help her.  This summer just flew.  Not sure I am ready for this yet.

I have not been the easiest person to live with this week.  Very irritable, upset, mad, sad, happy, angry – every emotion all within 10 minutes time sometimes.  Please pray for my family who are putting up with me.  Sometimes I just feel like my life has been put on hold and I have not control over anything at all!  Drives me nuts.  I have always been independent so I am trying to tell myself it’s ok to ask for help and receive help.  That’s not going so well.

Again, thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts.  Without them I know I would feel so down and depressed every minute.  I appreciate those who have helped me out -especially during Charley’s party last weekend.  It was wonderful.

#12 and final of these first two drugs is on Thursday.  those 12 weeks seem to have gone so fast and yet so slow.  lol.  Wish me luck!


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