Thoughts….

When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on March 23rd of this year I felt like I was being shoved in a corner and forced to make decisions that didn’t agree with me.  I felt as though no one wanted to hear me and that the decisions of what was to be done were already made for me.  Doctors go by what a study says as to how they will treat what you have or do not have.  Some even treat you like you don’t have any say so in this because you don’t know medicine.  I am not a doctor but I knew enough that I wasn’t going to let them just pick and choose what they did without an explanation and without my say so.  I also knew that just because they saw something on a test it did not mean it was gold.  As in, it did not mean they had all the right answers.

Doctors can be wrong and a diagnosis does not identify YOU.  Even treatment ideas can be wrong so just because the dr tells you that you have this much time or that this or that will be the best plan I would recommend you seek more opinions and do some research yourself.

When I was diagnosed the dr had it all planned out for me.  You will do this chemo according to this study.

Then you will have a double mastectomy even though you are not genetically predisposed to any cancer, then you will have reconstructive surgery and choose the breast implants you would like or radiation first which you will most likely need and then you may magically be cured when we’ve done all of this.  This will take you to about October of this year so don’t plan any vacations that require air flight and large crowds.

Done deal.  Ready?  OK let’s go.

And that is honestly how I felt.  They had it all planned.  Didn’t matter what I thought even though they assured me it did matter.  Yet most of my suggestions were either ignored or were dismissed as not the best choice at all.  We just do this, this and that all in that order and we will try and cure you.

Can you imagine how angry I was?  I felt like I had no where to turn.

After all of the overwhelming feelings wore off and I am glad I waited a month to even start treatment to get my ducks in a row because now I could think clearly.  I was able to make decisions that were right for me.  I was able to process all the things they were telling me.  They were in a rush and I am here to tell you, don’t be in a rush.  Even though my one tumor is more aggressive I am glad I did things slower than what they wanted me to.

I also began to look at my stress levels and how I was eating and decided I needed to make some changes in order to improve my health.  Many things I had been doing were literally destroying my immune system.

I visualize the chemo and the changes eating up the cancer.  Dissolving it like paper that has been soaking in water for a day.  Focusing on

“it’s not about you.  It’s the BIGGER PICTURE”

Just because this is how something has always been done doesn’t mean it’s the right answer!  DARE TO BE DIFFERENT.  Sometimes it is what is needed.  Look from outside of the box.

Instead of asking “why me” think about the bigger picture of how you can change things for someone else.  Maybe that is why this journey has come in your pathway.  Let go of the ego and then you will see the bigger picture.  What you need to do, think, say and more.

There is no ONE right answer.  If there was EVERYONE would be doing it now wouldn’t we?  Everyone is different so what works for one may not work at all for another.  That is why I chose to do the chemo I have and will decide on what type of surgery I want and what natural options I want to use on my journey and not just go with the norm.  Because this is MY JOURNEY and no one else’s.  This has happened to draw me down another path.  I had considered doing some of the things on this path before but would not have chosen to do this without this diagnosis.  In other words I would not have found a reason that was important enough until now to make these changes that were needed long ago.  Let that sink in.

If there is something that has been nagging and or gnawing at you to change then what are you waiting for?  Waiting for it to get bad enough for you to make the change more important? Don’t wait.  The sooner you do it will make it easier when you have to do it.  Trust me, voice of experience here.

Maybe now I will finally finish that book I have had in my brain for years.  Maybe I’ll finally take that vacation I have been putting off and convincing myself of some excuse not to do it.

I am not doomed and neither are you.  Everyone has a battle and it may not be the same as yours but it is still a battle.  We still don’t give up fighting it daily.  It does not define you.  It just may be unique to you. But along the way you will find many similarities in your journey and many others who are warriors every day.  So rejoice in your battle.  I love the song that says:

You won’t make yourself a name if you follow the rules
History gets made when you’re acting a fool
So don’t hold it back and just run it
Show what you got and just own it
No, they can’t tear you apart
If you trust your rebel heart, ride it into battle
Don’t be afraid, take the road less traveled
Wear out your boots and kick up the gravel
Don’t be afraid, take the road less traveled on
So take the road less traveled my friends and DARE TO BE DIFFERENT.
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